


Missing him

by manbrobukkaketheater



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Strider Man Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 19:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manbrobukkaketheater/pseuds/manbrobukkaketheater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How can you care about someone you've never met?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing him

The video you were watching ends.

You breath out, not realizing you were holding your breath. You reminisce what you just watched, calculating what he could have been so worried about, why he was talking so fast (well faster than usual) and why he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

In a previous video he had instructed you to never take off your glasses, no matter what the circumstances. Why was he contradicting himself by showing you his (surprisingly red) peepers? Had he lost his glasses? Was this a sign that you were supposed to pick up on? Maybe glasses aren’t the shit anymore. You take your triangular shades off and look at them in your hands. At the moment, they were just simple pieces of plastic but you were designing a program that would allow them to be transformed into a wireless computer. You thought that would be something cool, perhaps something he had, (not to mention your one friend is always up your ass about having multiple computers on you at all times). But now...

You put your glasses back on your face. They’re just a stupid clothing accessory, nothing to get worked up over. Besides you had a bigger problem to worry about.

That was the last video left to you. One of your only connection to your deceased brother. Done. Finished. Over. Of course you could always re-watch the videos but then they’d just be that: Videos. Even though that’s all they’ve ever been, you’ve never thought them just to be videos. Secret video-chats, yes, as well as “shut up Dirk and let me educate you shit time”. You never spoke when watching them, just incase he could hear you interrupting him.

Sure, there had to be countless articles in various magazines and online that you haven’t read yet, but you didn’t like them as much. It made them all seem in the past (not that it wasn’t but you always could pretend). The video made him see real, made him seem there. Like you had a real brother and not a legacy-worthy ancestor.

As well as considering what you’d have to substitute in for your Bro Time, there was why the videos stopped to consider. You entertain the silly thought of them running out of tape, or breaking the camera, but you know why the videos ended. It could either be one or both of the only two possibilities. The rebellion was getting too intense and it was too dangerous to take an hour to record, or your Bro had... your Bro had personally aquatinted him with the Batterwitch. There had been videos where your Bro had been holding the camera and running away for something, or full videos of him fighting off large, bright red CrockerCorp robots, so you don’t think the rebellion had got the best of your Bro’s time.

But you hated the idea of the other thing happening. You knew it did though, (the many, many articles you’ve read online about two rouge fugitives finally succumbing to “Her Grace” didn’t lie) but it couldn’t have happened now. He looked so... young. His skin, which was much paler than your own, didn’t show wrinkles of age. His smile, scarce and somewhat solum, had still been filled with lingering joy.

You also knew your denial couldn’t change the past so in your best interest you closed the window.

You stare at the black screen for another moment, not letting your emotions get the best of you (another thing your Bro had taught you), before opening pesterchum. Perhaps you could talk to Lalonde about it. Her Mother had been fighting alongside your Bro from the beginning of the rebellion all the way to their final stand, and you often helped each other in times such as this.

Although, it is late- really late. Lalonde has probably been sleeping for a few hours, at a cause of that weird juice she has recently found, (Personally you think it’s dangerous and is damaging her brain. She always argued this and then sends you a virus that blows up your computer or something of the like, showing you that she’s “totes fine dirky”) and Crocker’s dad will be tucking her in right about now. Both their handles appear offline, so your consider your suspicions to be correct. The only one online right now is English, but you don’t really feel like talking to him.

You turn off your computer and move to your bed. You don’t even bother getting under your pool ball covers, and just lay on top of them instead. Preparing for another sleepless night, you grab Cal- who was conveniently waiting for you on your nightstand, and snuggle into his plush body. You feel him wrapping his arms around you, comforting you in understanding. He knows how much your Bro means to you. Sometimes you like to think that he used to hold your Bro like this, and other times you prefer to pretend that Cal is your Bro, but you don’t think Cal likes when you do that.

Your name is Dirk Strider. You are 8 years old. You were not currently crying, no, not you... of course you were.

All you want is your brother.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr at [terezipyroope](http://terezipyroope.tumblr.com)


End file.
